Where do you stand in your family?

Put yourself in my place:

It’s early morning yesterday, I’m having my coffee, the kids are having breakfast, the sun is shining in the window, and I’m scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. I scroll past selfies of my friends with their little ones, pregnancy announcements, funny meme’s about life with toddlers (that is SO me!), then BOOM, I see this…

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…WHAT KIND OF TRUMP SUPPORTING, SELFISH, OLD SCHOOL CONSERVATIVE, NARCISSISTIC, CHILD NEGLECTING, MORON WROTE THIS?!

Of course kids are the most important in the family! The moment you give birth, your top priority is to raise that child into a highly functioning member of society. There is nothing more important than your child. Nothing comes before that kid; not friends, not your own selfish wants, and OMG not even sleep! Your number one job title is “Parent“, and once you become a parent, your life isn’t about you anymore!

I raged for a solid few minutes before I found myself pulled together enough, to actually read the article:
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Oh… Well I’m sorry Mr. Rosemond. I may have misjudged you.
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After I read this, I started asking myself the questions:

Do our children appreciate us and the things we do for them?
&
Do they truly respect us?

I found myself stumbling to answer…not wanting to admit the answer, as I walked past their bedrooms, with floors piled a foot high with expensive dolls and accessories, brand name clothes, and shoes (I TOLD THEM TO GET THIS DONE LAST NIGHT!).
So I did the only thing I could calmly bring myself to do about it, in that moment and sent it to my husband, asked for his opinion and as it turns out, we were on the same page.
The conclusion we came to was, obviously and in short, no.

No, they don’t appreciate the efforts we put forth for them.

And no they don’t respect us unless they are given an ultimatum. 

That being said, do we feel we need to put our marriage before our children?
No.
We shouldn’t have to. Our children are a part of our marriage. They are not second rate citizens in our home; nobody is.
They sleep in our bed with us sometimes because they are welcome there, after-school activities and their social lives hold higher ground than family dinners, and we talk to our children as often as we do each other…if not more.

So what do you do when your children are your best friends, but don’t know the differences between parent and child?

We compromise!

We gathered after dinner for a Family Circle 
We talked about each individual change we, the parents have made in our personal lives, to ensure their well-being and happiness.
We talked about the ways our parents and grandparents taught us respect (that about scared the pants off of them).
And we talked about the current (and flexible) role of each person in our family.

As it turns out, you don’t have to neglect your kids to get them to respect you.
Today my girls (who have the day off from school) got up, changed their clothes, ate every bit of breakfast I cooked them, and low and behold THEY CLEANED THEIR FREAKING ROOMS!

REPEAT: THEY CLEANED THEIR ROOMS! They made their beds, put everything in it’s place, and even swept! This is a turning point!

All you have to do is talk to your kids sometimes. I know it’s not always that easy, but just wait until the moment is right (I suggest when they are eating, so they can’t interrupt or run off).
I guess Mr. John Rosemond never experienced a Family Circle, but he’s more than welcome to join us in our next one. I’m thinking we’ll learn about “Opinion vs. Fact“.

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PMS and Motherhood

This morning I woke up and discovered I had a visit from my worst “frienemy“, Aunt Flo.

I call her a “frienemy” because if it weren’t for her, I’d have 40 kids rather than 4, so I’m thankful of that, but she also makes me into this raging beast woman, who is hungry for the tears of the ones I love, and Kit-Kat’s. Let’s just say, you don’t want to be around me for what I usually refer to as “Shark Week“.

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Anyway, back to the story; as I pulled out of the grocery store parking lot, already fuming about the fact that I have to drink water from an ugly water bottle (totally serious), I found myself arguing with my 3 year old, over everything she said.

Her: Why do people walk on the sidewalk?

Me: Because walking in the road is dangerous.

Her: So why don’t they walk on the grass?

Me: BECAUSE THERE’S A SIDEWALK! What?!

Her: And the road is dangerous! They shouldn’t walk on it.

Me: Oh my gah, yes. The road is dangerous, we walk on the sidewalk.

Her: No. We’re in the car.

Me: …

BUT THEN WE GET HOME…

Me: I have to go potty. Watch your show, I’ll be right back.

Her: You don’t have to go potty! You never go potty! You never go’ed potty in your life! Stay in here! 

Me: I will pee on you. Swear to god, I will pee on you…

I have a filter I swear; it’s just got holes.
And when “Shark Week” hits, it’s like when you make coffee and the filter collapses in the thing, so it overflows, and coffee grounds go everywhere and you just cry in the floor about it because now you have no coffee and a huge mess to clean up.

It’s like, I can love on my kids as much as I can, and they could be the best behaved children in that day, but the second I have to repeat myself…

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So my question for you is, have you found the secret to controlling the Monster that is the “M” in “PMS“? And if so, please share it with me.

I feel I’m giving my daughters a real lesson in “How to be a difficult teen“, and that thought alone, is only so close to being the remedy I need.

Real Mom’s

So about a year ago, I began working on a photo series entitled, “Real Mom’s“.
The idea was to capture photo’s of Mom’s holding a sheet of paper, with desperate acts of motherhood they’ve resorted to in order to either get a little “Me Time“, get an idea through their kids’ head or…you get the picture.

I fell away from it shortly after Mother’s Day, and have decided I’ve just got to get it finished for Mother’s Day this year, but this time with help from you.

My main goal as a blogger, is to bust open the stereotypes behind being a mother. We aren’t just Mom’s! We’re wives/girlfriends, daughters, sisters, friends, neighbors and most importantly we are individuals! We are not motherhood just because we happen to be mothers. We’re human, and we just friggin’ crack sometimes!

I am asking every Mom, Grandma, Aunt, Big Sister… Any woman who cares for a child, to please write your “Mom-ent” on a piece of paper, take a photo, and send it in to me at KDBishopPhotography@Hotmail.com

I think together, we have the potential to really share something great, that will help others realize they aren’t alone. And things happen to the best of us.

Here are a couple I captured last year:
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This is Ambrosia, a mother of 3 boys. Bless her sweet heart, this girl has patience!

ALYSSA.jpg
And this may be obvious by the content of her sign, but this is my best friend and soul sister, Alyssa. She is a mother of a 5 year old boy.

Again all you have to do is :
-Write in short, about the time you had “a moment” and parented under pressure
-Take a picture and email it to me at KDBishopPhotography@Hotmail.com
-Don’t forget to include your name and how many children you have or care for!

I’m hoping to see my inbox overflowing with these, but who knows, so SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!

Mom Style: OOTD Part 1

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a Mom, if not, you know a Mom and know what I mean when I say that I use to have fashion sense! I would go as far as to say, I was a trendsetter!
After 6 years of daily poop explosions, dinner-time tantrums and breastfeeding super-soaker catastrophe’s, I have completely lost it. I can spend all the time I want “Pinning” cute outfits to my “Style” board, window shopping and keeping up with celebrities, and nothing is going to change it.
Sure I have an idea of how I’d like to dress, but to be honest, my lovely lady lumps that would have once made necks break, in a pair of high waisted shorts, are now just plain old lumps.
I mean look at “dat ass”!

blueWTF HAPPENED TO THIS ASS AND THIS DEFINITION IN MY FACE??!

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Long story short; I have decided to embrace what I’ve got now, and share it with you all, in hopes to learn that I’m not the only one who didn’t manage to make it to “M.I.L.F” status…or maybe just isn’t there yet.

So here it is; Mom Style: Outfit Of The Day Part 1 (I plan on many, many more of these)

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As you can clearly see here, today I chose a style I’m calling, “I’m not brushing anything today
This outfit was inspired by the 6:45am tantrum by my 5 year old, over not wanting to go to school for no reason.

The t-shirt is from “Turtlini’s“, a hole in the wall, pizza place my husband worked at before we were married.
There’s a turtle on the back with a chef hat, and a pizza in its hand.
I found this in my bedroom floor, kind of close to the “clean pile“.
Whether it’s actually clean or not, I’ll leave up to your imagination 😉

The cardigan is from Charlotte Russe’ clearance rack, back in 2009, at the beginning of my senior year of high school.
I have worn this at least once or twice a week since I bought it.
There are 3-4 holes in it now, but it’s so comfy!
It’s my one thing, I’ll never throw out and YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

And can we talk about these pants?!
These are new, as in I spent a Target gift card from Christmas on these
(I don’t ever get to actually buy clothes for myself, and I struggled to bring myself to get these).

*Notice the F.U.P.A (fat upper pubic area); this is a recent development…or at least it has to be, because I didn’t notice it until I looked at this photo. WTF I’m only 24!*

I did, in all the chaos, manage to paint my toes last night, so that’s a plus.

The headband is from the month our 7 year old took karate classes.

And the background, I feel is worth mentioning; our oldest two like to make “How-To” videos. This is their backdrop, and the only semi-swept area of the kitchen.

I’m a mess.
I’ll get it together one day, probably…maybe?
But for now, we can laugh at ourselves together.
I think that’s important.

 

 

10 Fulfilling Hobbies for Stay at Home Mom’s

As a Stay at Home Mom of 4, I’ve known for years how fulfilling being a Mother is, but also how mentally exhausting it can be, after a while. You find yourself becoming more socially awkward with every passing day, and the only times you really get to challenge (or even consciously access) your mind, are the times you need to come up with a creative activity to entertain the munchkins.

I have become what I’m calling a “Hobbyholic“. I am constantly looking for hobbies to challenge and entertain myself, and not the part of myself that is “Mother“, but the part that is “Katii“. If I don’t, I tend to develop depression and anxiety, and the idea of “wasting my youth” starts to creep in, and it’s just no good for anyone involved. SO…

Here are some of the things I do, sprinkled with a few things I plan on trying in the future, to continue to fill that void:

  1. Blogging (obviously)

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If you’ve ever found yourself writing as a form of expression, I recommend giving blogging a shot. WordPress offers free plans, that allow you to design and personalize your page, and you can write as much as you want.
Everyday I come up with topics I’d like to cover. I jot them down, and when I catch some free time, I pull out the laptop, choose a topic and start my spill. Sometimes I type until I can’t anymore, and sometimes it takes me days to finish a post, and that’s fine. It’s good for the soul, that much I’m sure of, and I’ve only just begun this journey. It’s a beautiful way to express yourself without fear of judgement or failure. It’s also a great way to find yourself, which I’ve been doing since I was born basically.

 

2. Photography
camera, dslr, personSo yes, I’m a SAHM most of the time. But I did manage to find a hobby that I think I’m fairly talented at, that allows me to make some money.
Chances are, if you’ve got kids, you’ve got a camera. I got mine with taxes a year ago, got started right away, and have made about $4,000. It’s high energy and allows me to get out of the house and use my creativity; not to mention how many incredible and interesting people I’ve gotten the chance to work with.

 

3. Couponing
Image result for couponing stockI should start with pointing out this is a photo I pulled from Google. My stockpile is about 1/10th the size of this.
I got started couponing about 8-9 months ago, with help from a friend, as a way to save money. It’s a great way to stock up on the things your family regularly uses, but you’ve got to be careful because you can get swept up in the sales and end up with 42 bottles of Sweet Baby Rays’ BBQ sauce and no place to store it, like I did (lol). However I have acquired what seems like an unlimited number of Tide Pods and toilet paper.
If you’d like more information on how to get started with this one, I plan on doing a post purely on Couponing, in the future.

 

4. Redoing Furniture
18 Amazing DIY Transformations You HAVE To See!: This is one of those hobbies I mentioned I hadn’t yet ventured, but plan on trying.
Actually, this is probably my next feat. I’ve got big plans, you guys!
So as I see it, all you really need to do a lot of these projects, are a saw, sand paper, a hammer, nails and paint. All of which you probably already have or can buy for under $20. It seems to be worth it, and you probably already have something you’d like to re-paint or re-upholster, sitting in your living room or up in the attic.
If you do or have done any of these projects, leave a comment and let me know how it went. I still have some Pinning to do.

 

5. Baking
baker, bakery, bakingDo you have any idea how rewarding it is to have your husband come home from work and kids come in from school, then see them light up to the smell and sight of freshly baked cakes and breads?
No…Seriously, I’m asking. Do you? Because I don’t. I f*cking suck at baking. I tried to bake brown sugar cookies last week, and they came out tasting like BLEACH! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?
If you’re one of the lucky ones who can actually pull this off, I recommend it with all my heart. Just know that I’m salty about it. I constantly wish I could bake. I’d pop in at friends houses with baskets of muffins, bring my kids classes cookies in the afternoons and all that shit. Ugh. What I would give…

 

6. Cooking
Image result for giada de laurentiis cookingAnother disclaimer: This photo is bae. If you don’t absolutely LOVE this woman (Giada De  Laurentiis), you can just go now. Anyway…
So this one I have actually managed to become pretty alright at, due to my obvious obsession with cooking shows, and my need to hop on Pinterest every free second I can.
If you want to get better at cooking, what better critics than the people you love? Find a recipe you want to perfect, and try it!
Already a pro? Get a cookbook, go through it and improve the recipes! Your family will 100% support your mission.

 

7. Yoga and Meditation
Image may contain: one or more people, ocean and outdoorThis is a photo I took a few months ago of my sister and her boyfriend, in Florida. I’m wildly proud of it, and excited to have an excuse to share it with you.
Yoga is a hobby I’ve fallen from a bit, and I fully intend on getting back to ASAP.
It is good for your body, your mind, your spirit and your all around well-being (plus you can actually say those yoga pants you’ve been wearing for 3 days now, have done their intended job for once! yays!). You don’t need much space, or time. All you need is you, a soft place to sit and a good movie on Netflix to entertain the kids.
My kids actually do more yoga than I do. My 7 year old knows a full morning sun salutation routine and wants to use it to audition in her upcoming talent show; it’s precious.

 

8. Card Making
Image result for card makingThis seems like a lot of fun. We always cherish gifts that have been handmade, more than we would something store bought (unless it’s diamonds), and this is a cheap and engaging way to provide those types of gifts for anyone.
Michael’s and Hobby Lobby are always having crazy sales of scrapbooking supplies, and chances are you’ve got some stored away from projects your kids have done. Pull them out, and see what you’ve got.
This may not sweep you over, but it could be something fun to do, with coffee and a friend.

 

9. Book Club
Image result for book clubI NEED MORE FRIENDS SO I CAN DO THIS! This is a super easy way to get your friends together once every week or so, to gab about similar thoughts and ideas, and drink some freaking wine! I’m always looking for a reason to pick up a book, and this is just that. Pinterest has tons of lists for books to choose from. You can also go to Barnes & Noble, give them an idea of what type of book you’d like to read and they’ll hook you up.
If you live in South-Central Kentucky, and have any interest in this whatsoever, HIT ME UP! I’ll host and plan everything. I’m ready. Let’s go! Which leads me to

 

10. Plan a Party
Image result for party planningWhether you’re planning a birthday party, a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, baby shower, a bon-fire, a dinner party…whatever it is, party planning is freaking FUN and rewarding!
I’m hosting a “Pure Romance” party next weekend, I’m calling “Mom’s Night In“. Where my husband takes the kids with him to his Dad’s, while I have the girls over for wine, strawberry lemonade vodka slushies, order some sex toys and watch “Bad Mom’s” in our pajamas. Just three days ago, I hosted my sons First Birthday. This is my jam.
If you have some time on your hands, go to Pinterest and type in “Party Ideas“, see what strikes you, and start planning. It’s that easy, and it’s so rewarding once the party day finally comes!

 

There are tons of ways to engage yourself, outside of being Mom and Wife. You are more than that, and you should always know that. You are capable of so many things outside of that.
By embracing all of MY interests, I’m able to show my children that they can do anything they set their minds to, and that creative boundaries are only boundaries if we allow them to be. Go do something. Make something. Embrace your passions.