Where do you stand in your family?

Put yourself in my place:

It’s early morning yesterday, I’m having my coffee, the kids are having breakfast, the sun is shining in the window, and I’m scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. I scroll past selfies of my friends with their little ones, pregnancy announcements, funny meme’s about life with toddlers (that is SO me!), then BOOM, I see this…

…WHAT KIND OF TRUMP SUPPORTING, SELFISH, OLD SCHOOL CONSERVATIVE, NARCISSISTIC, CHILD NEGLECTING, MORON WROTE THIS?!

Of course kids are the most important in the family! The moment you give birth, your top priority is to raise that child into a highly functioning member of society. There is nothing more important than your child. Nothing comes before that kid; not friends, not your own selfish wants, and OMG not even sleep! Your number one job title is “Parent“, and once you become a parent, your life isn’t about you anymore!

I raged for a solid few minutes before I found myself pulled together enough, to actually read the article:

Oh… Well I’m sorry Mr. Rosemond. I may have misjudged you.

After I read this, I started asking myself the questions:

Do our children appreciate us and the things we do for them?
&
Do they truly respect us?

I found myself stumbling to answer…not wanting to admit the answer, as I walked past their bedrooms, with floors piled a foot high with expensive dolls and accessories, brand name clothes, and shoes (I TOLD THEM TO GET THIS DONE LAST NIGHT!).
So I did the only thing I could calmly bring myself to do about it, in that moment and sent it to my husband, asked for his opinion and as it turns out, we were on the same page.
The conclusion we came to was, obviously and in short, no.

No, they don’t appreciate the efforts we put forth for them.

And no they don’t respect us unless they are given an ultimatum. 

That being said, do we feel we need to put our marriage before our children?
No.
We shouldn’t have to. Our children are a part of our marriage. They are not second rate citizens in our home; nobody is.
They sleep in our bed with us sometimes because they are welcome there, after-school activities and their social lives hold higher ground than family dinners, and we talk to our children as often as we do each other…if not more.

So what do you do when your children are your best friends, but don’t know the differences between parent and child?

We compromise!

We gathered after dinner for a Family Circle 
We talked about each individual change we, the parents have made in our personal lives, to ensure their well-being and happiness.
We talked about the ways our parents and grandparents taught us respect (that about scared the pants off of them).
And we talked about the current (and flexible) role of each person in our family.

As it turns out, you don’t have to neglect your kids to get them to respect you.
Today my girls (who have the day off from school) got up, changed their clothes, ate every bit of breakfast I cooked them, and low and behold THEY CLEANED THEIR FREAKING ROOMS!

REPEAT: THEY CLEANED THEIR ROOMS! They made their beds, put everything in it’s place, and even swept! This is a turning point!

All you have to do is talk to your kids sometimes. I know it’s not always that easy, but just wait until the moment is right (I suggest when they are eating, so they can’t interrupt or run off).
I guess Mr. John Rosemond never experienced a Family Circle, but he’s more than welcome to join us in our next one. I’m thinking we’ll learn about “Opinion vs. Fact“.