PMS and Motherhood

This morning I woke up and discovered I had a visit from my worst “frienemy“, Aunt Flo.

I call her a “frienemy” because if it weren’t for her, I’d have 40 kids rather than 4, so I’m thankful of that, but she also makes me into this raging beast woman, who is hungry for the tears of the ones I love, and Kit-Kat’s. Let’s just say, you don’t want to be around me for what I usually refer to as “Shark Week“.

Anyway, back to the story; as I pulled out of the grocery store parking lot, already fuming about the fact that I have to drink water from an ugly water bottle (totally serious), I found myself arguing with my 3 year old, over everything she said.

Her: Why do people walk on the sidewalk?

Me: Because walking in the road is dangerous.

Her: So why don’t they walk on the grass?

Me: BECAUSE THERE’S A SIDEWALK! What?!

Her: And the road is dangerous! They shouldn’t walk on it.

Me: Oh my gah, yes. The road is dangerous, we walk on the sidewalk.

Her: No. We’re in the car.

Me: …

BUT THEN WE GET HOME…

Me: I have to go potty. Watch your show, I’ll be right back.

Her: You don’t have to go potty! You never go potty! You never go’ed potty in your life! Stay in here! 

Me: I will pee on you. Swear to god, I will pee on you…

I have a filter I swear; it’s just got holes.
And when “Shark Week” hits, it’s like when you make coffee and the filter collapses in the thing, so it overflows, and coffee grounds go everywhere and you just cry in the floor about it because now you have no coffee and a huge mess to clean up.

It’s like, I can love on my kids as much as I can, and they could be the best behaved children in that day, but the second I have to repeat myself…

So my question for you is, have you found the secret to controlling the Monster that is the “M” in “PMS“? And if so, please share it with me.

I feel I’m giving my daughters a real lesson in “How to be a difficult teen“, and that thought alone, is only so close to being the remedy I need.